Jesus fuck! It's the last day of summer vacation! Ever! In my entire fucking life, today is just it! Then, its gone, forever :D Long days of nothing and isolation just gone! After today, almost every day of my life will be filled with something, something to do or somewhere to go or something to see. I cannot fucking wait. It's so lonely for me to spend days alone. Especially since my brother died and in my down time he fills my thoughts. I tend to see his image laughing, but not in a nice way. In a way that says "I have left you behind, little sister. Now figure out what the worlds means because you are on your own". But if I am not forced to spend long days in captivity for months at a time (summer vacation) (why i am captive is a long long story), then I can, at the very least, prevent it from being my only though. There is so much hope in this. I have not had hope for a long long time. I even got some new clothes, which I never do for the school year. I'm going to sound like such a stuck up prick, but I never really needed new clothes to feel pretty. I've always been pretty. Even without makeup I get asked if im a model. So, yeah, new clothes is a semi big step for me, at least in the hope department. Tomorrow cannot come fast enough! Senior year! I need it to start so it can fly by and I can finally graduate.. Get the fuck out of dodge, go back to where i belong. Jesus christ I'm shaking!! I sound like a dumbass preppy bitch saying this, but i don't even care, I'm going to go pick out an outfit for tomorrow.
Such effort is shocking from me haha.
Peace, darlings
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